I Am the Sailor

“Oh, how the breakers roar / They keep pulling me farther from shore / Thoughts turn to a love so kind / Just to keep me from losing my mind / So enticing, deep dark seas / It’s so easy to drown in the dream”

These lines were not written by a poet– at least not in the traditional sense. These are the lyrics that open the song “Breakers Roar” by Sturgill Simpson off of his 2016 record “A Sailor’s Guide to Earth”. The album in its entirety was written for Simpson’s newborn son. It is a highly conceptual and cohesive work that spoke to me in times when nothing else would. Throughout the record, Simpson provides lyrics laden with themes of fatherhood, family, and genuine love. His description of his son as a sailor was a metaphor that I would discover and re-discover within myself as I weathered the latter months of being in Philadelphia.

While I was living in Philly, I occasionally took the Amtrak down to Virginia to spend weekends at home. On the return trip back to Pennsylvania, dread would grow in my throat and stomach like a tumor, making me feel almost seasick. On one of these train trips, I took a break from my calculus studies and turned to a blank page in my notebook. I had been listening to Simpson’s album frequently and was inspired by his use of nautical metaphors– the great and storming sea representing a tumultuous and unstable life.

At the time, my life was anything but stable. I yearned for security. I longed for a shore on which I could rest, but there was no steady ground to be seen. I pictured myself in a boat, enduring violent winds that brought animous waves over the bough of my little vessel. Simpson wrote “A Sailor’s Guide to Earth”. My response? I am the sailor.