Cornerman

Now I have the pleasure of introducing another character from my stay at ICFR. I met him at the tail end of my first week in Indiana. At the facility, we were allowed 10 minutes of outside time in the courtyard every hour. Some of the patients would use this time to take a smoke break, whereas others just enjoyed being able to breathe fresh air for a few minutes. I was in the latter category; I don’t smoke.

During one of these smoke breaks, I found myself sitting beside an older gentleman. We started conversing on the basis of some of the younger patients’ relatively rowdy, and thus, annoying behavior. He opened the conversation by saying, “They’re a bunch of 16-year-old 25-year-olds.” He was right. Whatever they were doing at the time was more than likely juvenile and rather uncharacteristic of someone in their mid-20s.

I responded by saying, “Well, you don’t have to worry about me. My mother says I was born old. Now, I’m a 40-year-old 20-year-old.” Somehow, the point I was making got lost in translation, and my new compadre was fully convinced for the next week or so that I was 40 years old. He introduced himself as Ty, and we agreed that we would keep tabs on each other and form a sort of an alliance against the immature stupidity of other patients.

We became good friends in our overlapped time in Indiana, where we earned the right to be candid and honest with each other. I admitted that a large portion of the reason I had come to ICFR was to figure out strategies to be more positively affirming towards myself, as I was severely lacking confidence. He was honest and said, “Man, you’re so smart that I would think you’d be the most arrogant motherfucker in here.”

He really managed to get through to me when it came to motivating me. He would talk about the ability to shrug off the opinions of others and to be confident in my strengths, which I still consider to be incredibly instrumental in my ability to maintain poise in the face of criticism.

I wrote “Cornerman” as an ode to Ty and the confidence he led me to find within myself. The poem begins with the metaphor of people like Ty acting as a cornerman, similarly to how a boxer receives motivation and advice to navigate a fight. However, it is also a reminder that one must act as their own cornerman at times, as you may occasionally be alone in your fight.